[info]aldiara wrote
on January 9th, 2011 at 07:11 pm

FANFIC MEME 2010

LA LA LA I SWEAR ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL POST SOMETHING THAT'S NOT ALL FIC-RELATED. HONEST. I WILL WRITE YOU A THRILLING UPDATE ABOUT MY CATS' HAIRBALLS AND THE WEATHER AND A HAUNTING SOLILOQUY ABOUT HOW I NEED NEW UNDERWEAR. AND THEN YOU'LL BE ALL OMG FFS ALDI, GO BACK TO TALKING FANFIC BEFORE WE DIE OF BOREDOM/TMI. YESSSSSS. FOOLPROOF PLAN IS FOOLPROOF.


- Posted overall:
19, apparently, if I count the chapter of In This Home On Ice (and dammit, it's 11k that I clawed and sweated and bled onto the page, so hell yeah, I'm counting it!).


- Longest oneshot:
Hahhahaha, that would be Slayer... which seriously wasn't supposed to be THIS long. I started out thinking "okay, biggish premise, but can do - looking at 10k or 15k, probably", then halfway through upgraded to "20k", then "30k, absolute tops." Uh... yeah. It's a good thing I didn't know how long it would be from the get-go because I'd never have dared even start it (and good thing too that [info]ktbob has a long attention span :D)


- Longest overall piece:
Slayer if we're talking this year. ITHOI if we're talking ever (and yes, I do plan to finish it eventually, just, HARD.)


- Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?
I wrote lots more than last year (when Show was so good I felt I didn't need to contribute anything), and by now probably more than the year before that; all in all, definitely more than I expected to write in fanfic this year. (Not a good thing, in general, as I'm only REALLY inspired to write lots of fic when Show screws up royally. Canon repair is my primary muse.)


- Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?:
Hm. I wrote more threesomes than usual (I was going to say "my first" until I remembered I'd written JeRoLa before), which reinforced the realisation that if emotional dynamics (not to mention physical logistics!) are oh so hard between two people, they are SO MUCH HARDER BETWEEN THREE, OMG. And I came up with a bunch of musical numbers, which made me wish I could actually write music, lol.


- What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?
Having had no idea of the impending existence of Marc Hagendorf in January (the earliest I heard about him was in Jan, I think, and he was just a nameless concept then), I suppose everything I wrote about him falls in this category. Other than that and the aforementioned threesomes, though, I've not been very adventurous, since I'm more or less a one-fandom kind of gal. I did write my first Celine fic, though, which was as traumatising as I might have expected, but then I did get back at my cruel and demanding fandom with organic fertiliser, so s'all good. (BERND/CELINE = OT-FUCKING-P!) OH, OH, AND I WROTE MY FIRST AWZ CHARACTER DEATH AS YOUTUBE COMMENTFIC, LOLOLOL.


- Do you have any fanfic or prolific goals for the New Year? Finish, post, etc.
Well, it would always be nice to finish ITHOI *hollow laughter of despair* Other than that, though, I don't know. In many ways, writing Slayer was my goodbye to Show, although I didn't yet know at the time quite how final a goodbye it was. It just kinda felt like if I could write something that would leave canon in a place where I still loved it, and then wrapped up the things I needed closure on, and left the door open for an interesting future, then I could leave somewhat satisfied instead of with the nagging hole of disillusionment canon was sure to leave. However, I hope that my goodbye to Show doesn't equal goodbye to fanon, so who knows. I did vaguely think about another biggish fic in the Slayer 'verse telling the story of Marc and Tom but I'm not holding my breath on it actually happening soonish, especially since I want to focus more on original fiction (except now [info]sdk is being all enabling about it and we all know where that usually leads, omg *hides*).

If I have any specific goals style-wise, it's probably less porn, since I'm feeling kind of bored with writing it lately and finding myself more intrigued with other avenues of interaction/conflict/expression. OMG that sounds like I've turned into a total prude, lol. I totes dig smut if it comes as a natural part of the story, but I'm less enamoured with smut for smut's sake lately. IDK.


- My favorite stories this year (of my own):
Slayer for sparkly silly magic and ease of writing. Share-Dare-Care for angsty goodness and the pleasure of seeing a project develop its own dynamic. I don't know, with the exception of ITHOI, I'm fairly pleased with everything I wrote this year, I think.


- Story most unappreciated by the universe, in my opinion:
Not from this year, but overall probably pieces like By Nature A Pragmatic Girl. It's not that it doesn't get read at all (it does, or did) or doesn't have any comments (it does), but I think in general my porny pieces or things like ITHOI tend to get a lot more attention than shorter things like By Nature, which is "just" a character study with a G rating from a very problematic era of Show, but which I happen to think is one of the best things I've ever written in this fandom. If I ever were to do podfic, this is the piece I'd choose - I think it has a nice poetic beat to it, and what can I say, I love Vanessa and I think she is universally underappreciated, in canon and fanon both. Also, its word count is 666 fucking words!

Same applies to some of my other early stuff, like Simple and A Crucial Ingredient. I often think some of my earlier stuff is better than what I did later.


- Most fun story:
This is hard - I've done more humorous pieces this year than usual, and have really enjoyed those. Six Days, Puppies for Breakfast, Rock 'n' Roll Dreams Come True and Flimsy Premise were all just light-hearted and cheesy and fun to write.


- Most sexy story:
Repossession. It's essentially a fill-the-blanks PWP, and I wrote it the day of the reunion, and then the next day along came RTL and upstaged me with this, but I didn't even care. I liked how easy it was to write, the breathless (har har) urgency of it and that I got to work in some come-uppance (HAR HAR) against Ingo :p


- Story with single sexiest moment:
Dare has some good ones, I think. WHAT CAN I SAY, I AM A SUCKER FOR DEMARC. MARC NEEDED TO JUST NOT GIVE DENIZ THAT DUMB HOCKEY BOOK AND EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN OKAY, OKAY?! ARGH.

Anyway, something like this:

His knee is between Marc's thighs and Marc can feel himself react, can't help it, really, who could? If Roman were here, he'd probably give in, would just let them all tumble into a tangled heap of limbs and desire in the master bedroom, but this is about more than that, and the wetness on Deniz's cheeks, the red of his swollen lips convinces him of that. Instead of thrusting his hips forward, he brings his hands up, frames the sharp cheekbones of Deniz's face with desperate fingers.


-Story with single sweetest moment:
Haven't a sodding clue. *stares at fic* Okay, I'll make it a tie between Care:

He hears Marc whisper Deniz's name, questioningly, and then add something that Roman can't make out. He does hear Deniz's response, his dismissive snort and a mumbled, "Dude, don't be such a moron," accompanied by a tug that brings Marc back onto the mattress, his arm pulled firmly around Deniz's chest. On Deniz's other side, snugly pinned by one arm circling him and Deniz's long legs wrapped around his, Roman lies still, barely daring to breathe, as he feels every motion on the mattress. At first, Marc lies as stiffly as himself before he eventually settles in, hesitantly curving himself around Deniz's back and reaching across him. Deniz is skinny enough that Marc has no trouble reaching Roman. His hand meets Roman's stomach, slowly slides upwards across his ribs before eventually coming to rest just above his heart. Roman imagines that Marc must feel it pounding, that the sound of it must travel right into his fingertips and through his arm, sinking into Deniz's warm, loosened body between them. He brings up his own hand, slowly so as not to disturb Deniz, and puts it on top of Marc's.

...because I'm a sucker for Marc being all stupidly self-sacrificing and noble and Roman being a pessimistic twat only to be surprised by the generosity of others and Deniz being... well, Deniz;

and Nicht mein Typ:

Ich seh ihn noch vor mir, Haut an Haut, sein Gesicht dicht an meinem, die Haare wild verstrubbelt und seine Hände so hart an meine Schultern geklammert, dass ich am nächsten Morgen ein paar blaue Flecken hatte. Seine unglaublich blauen Augen konzentriert und leicht verschleiert, und jeder Muskel in seinem Körper angespannt, aber er lachte trotzdem atemlos. "Marc, bitte tu was," stieß er rauh hervor, und seine Finger gruben sich noch tiefer in meine Haut, "sonst wird's gleich peinlich."

...because I LOVE TOM and Marc/Tom are my new OTP, okay! lol, and also I apparently associate "sweet" with "mid-thrust" or "post-coital", go figure.


- Most unintentionally telling story:
Hahahaha, Six Days, definitely. HELLO THERE, FIC UNABASHEDLY STEALING FROM LIFE.

Especially this:

That night they talk, and when they run out of things to say, they sit and stare at each other, faces close, frozen in nervous indecision. When the tension gets too much, it’s Vanessa who leans in, impatiently closing the five-inch distance to Nina’s lips.


- Fic that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:
Echoes, Dare, and Nicht mein Typ, because bloody Marc insisted on defying and/or subtly twisting how I thought I saw him in pretty much everything I wrote. Not in monumental ways, just little things like showing vulnerabilities where I hadn't expected any and then being a smirking wanker when I'd planned other things and making unexpected moves where no such moves had been intended. I'd cuss him out for it but in truth I love characters like that - the ones who tend to take over when you start writing, making the story their own.

Also, I was pretty intrigued while writing Slayer to realise that it was literally my FIRST FIC EVER where I sympathised ever so slightly more with Roman than with Deniz. Don't get me wrong, I adore Roman and I love writing him and usually I don't have any trouble with him (anymore - I remember how dreadfully nervous I was once Lil backed out from ITHOI and I had to inch my way into Roman's perspective after she'd written him so breathtakingly well). But when it comes to identifying, I'm still always more in Deniz's head than anyone else's because, well, I clicked with him from the moment he showed up and that's never really changed much. But with this fic, it was Roman's head I was in more, and it was fascinating (and pretty elating) when I got my beta comments back from Lil and wherever there was a bit where she was pissed at Roman and cuddling Deniz, I wanted to jump in and defend Roman. It was such a change from our usual dynamic and I loved it, original DDL and all *g* (of course, then she totally got me back by actually making me wish Deniz out of existence when I read Five Times Marc Hagendorf Called Roman Wild *whimpers*).


- Biggest disappointment:
Penalty Box. It was like pulling teeth every damn step of the way, and no matter what lovely things people had to say about it, I still feel like I could've done so much better - especially when then along came Show and did an HIV storyline too, only so much better that I immediately wanted to run and delete the entire damn thing, lol. Basically I was writing it in the midst of DeRo 3.0 awesomeness and I just SO wasn't in the mindspace for Dark Years fic. Looking back on it now, I know I could've fixed so much given more time and dedication, but the thing is I just didn't have the dedication, and it pretty much was "post it as it is or never post it at all."


- Biggest surprise:
The innate dynamics of the Share-Dare-Care cycle, which had been intended as a oneshot and ended up becoming a three-piece deal. I was really pleased with having a threesome fic turn into a tryad involving all three perspectives, but boy did it ever come as a surprise.


- Hardest story to write:
Penalty fucking Box. I was working to a deadline, which I'm still grateful to [info]sdk for, because without that pressure I'd probably never have finished the damn chapter, but seriously, I felt like crying most of the time I was working on it. I was also writing non-chronologically, something that usually works quite well for me, but in this case it kicked my arse so hard. I was basically working on 20 lackadaisacally started sections at the same time and feeling thoroughly uninspired about all of them, which meant it felt like I would never get to finish even a single one. I haven't gone back and reread it since I posted it and I won't, because I feel quite sure if I do, I WILL delete it, lol.


- Easiest story to write:
Slayer, hands down. I wrote the whole thing in ten days, and it was MAGIC. People talk about stories writing themselves, and it's always fucking pretentious and annoying, because writing is HARD, OKAY - except then every once in a while you do get that odd thing that practically writes itself, and the high from that is incredible. I started writing Slayer around a single image, a single paragraph (the one with Roman and Isabelle at the boards before the show starts, when she reminds him of Jenny), and it spread and grew from there like some crazy magic weed. It's not that it was effortless, at all (I spent so much time pacing and tearing my hair out), but I never really doubted that I could finish it or that it wouldn't turn out as I wanted it to. There were so many times when it was Ridiculous O'Clock and I'd already done 4000 words that day and I was drunk and tired and really really going to bed now, and the next time I looked up, it was 7am and I'd done another 2000 words. On top of that, it actually spawned more creativity: During those ten days, I did a lot of sketching and painting, then a silly moment's fancy about song titles turned into a whole afternoon coming up with a more detailed concept for the musical including actual scenes; and then the day before finishing the fic itself, Marc shouldered in and demanded I quickly write a piece about him and Tom, and poof, there was Nicht mein Typ. Actually I kind of already hate myself looking back on this whole experience because I KNOW that's not going to happen again for sodding YEARS, lol. But yeah. Good times.


- This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it most:
THREESOMES/MORESOMES. And the story that demonstrates it most has not been written yet because I have a wicked craving for a DeRoMarcTom foursome and why does that not exist yet?? WHY DO WE HAVE TO ACTUALLY SIT DOWN AND WRITE STUFF BEFORE IT'S FINISHED? IT'S 2011. SURELY BY NOW WE SHOULD HAVE A FIC GENERATOR TOOL WHERE WE JUST FEED IN PLOTBUNNIES AND PERFECTLY POLISHED FIC COMES OUT. COME ON, FUTURE. I AM NOT IMPRESSED.

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