Breed Me (IDEK what this is. Sterek mpreg songcrack, apparently).

I blame [info]amyriadfthings and [info]amo_amas_amat for enabling this :p

So uhm. It all started with mocking the millions of badvids out there using Breathe Me. And then there was the reading of fic and encountering of lots of equally bad knotting fic in which "pups" was used as a synonym for "come" and people apparently thought someone moaning "Breed me!" in the middle of sex was hot (hint: it's really, really not). Then there was a brainmush of "Breathe Me should really be Breed Me, lololol," and... well... that was that.


IF I COULD VID, I WOULD MAKE THIS AN ACTUAL VID. So be very, very glad I can't.

Instead, I give you Breed Me, the new and improved lyrics to the worst song to be used for any slash vid, ever. (seriously. it's a song about self-harm. how does that even translate to "awww yayz BOYSKISSAGE." i mean. why. WHY.)

BREED ME

Help, I have cravings again

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I have laboured many times before

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Got myself knocked up again today

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And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

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Be my mate
Hold me, rub my feet


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Up the duff
I feel weepy


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I'm needy
Knock me up
And breed me


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Ouch, I have lost my lunch again

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My back hurts and you are nowhere to be found,

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Yeah I think my water might break

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I've lost my lunch again and I feel unsafe

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Be my mate
Hold me, rub my feet


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Up the duff
I feel weepy


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I'm needy

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Knock me up
And breed me


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...

Ah, but let's not forget:

"ZOMG, THAT'S OUR SONG!!!!!"



"AND ALSO, WE DID BABYPLOT FRIST!!!!!!!!111!!!eleventy!!!!"

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YOU KNOW IT, BITCHES.


...yeah. I'm just going to quietly drown myself now, kthxbai.

Comments

I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER AND YOU DO OWN MY SOUL FOR THIS. *wipes away tears I believe from laughter* Even though it took a lot to try & not see those other guys. And the giraffe. You are evil, but you know that. I appreciate the sacrifice of your sanity for this.
ANYWAY. OUCH I LOST MY LUNCH AGAIN. What else can one say, really.
*carefully tucking your soul away for future use/bargains*

I'm glad it, uhm. Worked? Brought up your lunch? Made you laugh? THESE FEELINGS, INGA, THEY ARE SO COMPLEX. Complex as a melange of morning sickness and tenderness, really. Where is the brainbleach when you need it.
BRILLIANT ICON!

Posting this before reading properly because WHY Aldi - I actually listened to the song this morning and it's about self-harm FFS why the hell it is attached to every other ship out there?!

Okay, going to read/cackle now...
lol BRAIN. IDEK. Why is this song considered romantic, whyyyyy? It's not even a bad song! I quite liked it before it got pasted onto every ship ever. BUT IT'S SO NOT ROMANTIC. I don't understand people.
THIS IS THE BEST THING EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

IT'S PERFECT! I'M JUST GOING TO PRACTICE IT NOW SO WE CAN ALL HARMONISE TOGETHER AND MAKE THE MOST PROFOUND AND MOVING MUSIC VIDEO IN THE HISTORY OF FANDOM!
Don´t forget the harmonized laboured labour breathing, as suggested by Anna! THIS VIDEO WILL BE AS DEEP AS WE CAN BREATHE INTO OUR UTERI.
Oh dear *concentrates* I don't think I've ever breathed quite so deep but it's worth it Inga, for the ART! Sheer, unabashed artistry of the highest calibre!
hahahhahaha. The thought of harmonised labour breathing should definitely not fill me with such glee. WHAT HAVE I DONE.
What even. You are definitely my favourite person in the world right now. :DDDD
LOL, oh Dani. I should not be your favourite person for this. I feel like I need to go into witness protection or somethin *clings*
DED! IS SO DED! ALDI I'M AM HAVING ALL THE ALLERGIES AS A RESULT OF THIS CRACK.

"I have laboured many times before" and "Yeah I think my water might break" *wails with laughter* And Stiles's pregnant belly. Oh so disturbing. Also "Up the duff, I feel weepy." *dies more*

BUHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. AND CHROLLI + GIRAFFE AND KID. THIS IS MORE EVIL AND GROSS THAT I COULD EVER HAVE IMAGINED.

AKA I LOVE YOU.
UP THE DUFF IS ALL YOUR FAULT, WOMAN. I did not even know that phrase existed. lololol.

Thanks for contributing, I think? LOVE YOU TOO!
So I thought it would be a good idea to open IJ on a quiet-before-the-storm workday morning because I had a lot of catching up to do....

Dead.Dead.Dead. OMG, how can anyone expect my brain to work normally after seeing this before 7am? I will be completely useless to my company today AND I BLAME IT ALL ON YOU!







wait.
exactly how long is Kat's thumb in your icon?!
that is just scary.
Hahahah, so much blame! I'm not sure I can cope. Can I just shift it on to the people who think breeding-related sexytalk is sexy?
lolololololol
you know I have no clue about this show, but still, how hilarious is this!?!
ahahahahhaha! and OMG I'm so sorry you had to go through Chrolli stuff. I'm terrified by just that one pic. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww their faces alone!

also, GIRAFFE!!
Hahahah, oh honey. I won't put on the pressure to watch if you don't wanna, but dude, it saddens me immensely if this is the impression of Teen Wolf you'll walk away with. LOL. Please, please believe me it's nothing like this?
I. Have no words.
So everyone keeps telling me. I'm ordering brainbleach in bulk, ok?

(Anonymous)

Who are they?

Who are those guys? Where are they from? *-*

November 2016

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