Nov. 17th, 2010

Gross.

Dear Australia,

It's widely known that we have none of all the highly venomous, nightmare-inducing, scaly, hairy, clawy, bitey and otherwise lethal critters y'all seem to have hoarded over there (and you're very welcome to them!). So I have to ask. Did you send over a nasty little brand of fucking jumping spiders? Because if you did, I hate you and I'd rather like you to take them back pls. No, I don't care if they're tiny. No, I don't care if they're not poisonous. They're spiders and they jump, and those two things should never go together, especially not when one is taking a nap in one's garden and is woken up by a tickling on one's leg caused by a spider jumping on one.

Seriously dude, not cool. I'd blame South America but they're farther away and you sent us the possums, so. Even if they're not yours, you have hungry giantspiders that would just looove jumping tinyspiders for breakfast, I know they would. Take them awaaaaay.

Arachnophobic, groggy and not pleased,
Me

PS: I was just trying to find a picture to help you identify the particular kind I want you to take away and OMG FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK NEVER EVER GOOGLE FOR "JUMPING SPIDERS" IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR PICTURES EW EW EW EWWWW I WANT A CHEMICAL SHOWER, AN OBLIVIATE SPELL AND SOME BRAINBLEACH RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, ARRRRGH.

Nov. 7th, 2010

Le sigh.

A year and a half ago, I commented this on ep 730:

Dear Show,

Remember those months when we were barely more than housemates? When we'd walk past each other glumly, avoid each other's eyes, and every day as I watched the utter desolation of your plots, I felt like asking "When are we breaking up?" and only stayed with you because I'm obsessive and couldn't bear the thought of letting go just yet?

Yeah. THOSE DAYS ARE OVER. Because damn it, you bitch, you've won me back for good. Go ahead and break my heart again, I don't even care. I <3 U!!!


Why are we back in the same place again? I thought we'd worked through our issues. I worry about us, babe, I truly do.

November 2016

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