#2: The Formerly Impishly Attractive Lars: Dude, don't even. WE BROKE UP. There's nothing but shards left and I can never trust you again. Even to think of those pictures makes me quietely seethe, or worse, want to cry. Go away and never come back. There's no point trying anymore, you faker. It's over. NICHT MEIN FALL.
#3: Hi Crinkle-Faced Smile of Win! It's okay. You don't have to whip your shirt off (though I'll appreciate it), spazz at me about how awesome boxing is (though I'll valiantly attempt to pretend I agree) or show me your bloody knuckles (though I'll be suitably impressed). You had me at "Hallo!" HOT.
#4: The Littlest, Lostest Weasley a.k.a. The Formerly Unfortunate No.4: Hmmm. Have we racked up enough karmic points yet? Does Christine have enough material for fic? Because I kinda feel like you're getting cocky. And like I need to give you a GEHT SO to keep you in your place. Cause next thing we know, you'll be accepting whatever lame trophy they've come up with for the Sexiest Soapstar winner with a grinny smirk and everyone will be looking all shifty and avoiding each other's eyes and later on no one will be able to explain how it happened and Igor will look crushed and make me cry. Ergo: GEHT SO.
#5: Hey Süßer. No, I don't care. Sacrifice yourself on the altar of pink, trashy indignity. It's for a good cause. HOT.
#6: Short Chocolate Truffle Smoky Yumminess: Purr. You know, that photo makes you look surprisingly crappy. But whatevs. HOT.
#7: The Amazing Square-Faced Squintbot: I have a guilty secret to confess. I am giving this dude GEHT SO. Such is the extent of my utter non-caring. I just don't feel strongly enough to give him the same scorn as Mars & Co. If I were any more indifferent, I'd dissolve. In fact, I'm already not remembering who I'm even talking about. GEHT SO and onwards!
#8: Mr. Sex Predator In Your Neighbourhood: No indifference here. If I could vote you into negative numbers, I would. EW. NICHT MEIN FALL.
#9: Greasy Max. HOT. Yes. I don't care what y'all think. Once upon a time, I thought greasy Max was gross. Then I thought he was gross but kind of sinistery-appealy. Then I thought he was gross but kinda yummy. Then I went back to thinking he's just gross. (Mostly Celine's and Lena's fault). He is the most disgusting man that I ever did find attractive. I respect that. HOT.
#10: Saaaaam. Sam Sam Sam. We must talk. WHY IS YOUR WIFE NOT IN THIS POLL? Damn you. For that alone, you will never win. And for the fact that I currently despise your character for a spineless, macho wimp. But still. HOT.
#11: Curse you, Raul Richter. Don't think I am not onto you. Don't think I didn't see you in today's Cenny ep, looking delicious in red and being all noble and loyal, standing up for the Yummiest Double-Choc Cupcake anyone ever had for a friend. Don't think I didn't see you casting glances at me from the corner of your eyes, going "Come on, I'm kind of lovely, aren't I? You may scoff, but you secretly think I'm all sorts of dishevelledly scrumptious." Maybe. Maybe I do, but you're not getting to me. Not you or your windblown princely ash-blond locks. I am firm as a rock in stormy seas, and I shall not waver. NICHT MEIN FALL.
#12: Vampire Lounge Singer: And again I must confess. I've been giving him GEHT SO. Don't judge me - he's no danger, I don't even know him and he's never harmed anyone, other than those casual clubgoers he's eaten in dark corners. Plus I can't get the image of him sprawled all over Lucifer's piano at Lux, dressed in nothing but a little red dress and a ludicrous shiny cape, crooning "You Give Me Fever" out of my head. Yes, I'm a sick woman, so what? GEHT SO, MOVING ON, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.
#13: Hello most adorable boy in the world. Apart from being too pretty to live, you are also just all around way too lovely to ever merit less than HOT, and to give you GEHT SO has given me heartburn in the past, so I won't even try right now. Let me just indefinitely put off that inevitable moment when I'm going to have to make a decision. HOT, PLUMPTIOUS.
#14: WHAT POSSIBLE EXCUSE DO YOU HAVE FOR EXISTING? FUCK THE FUCKING FUCKETY FUCK OFF, FUCK YOU. NICHT MEIN FALL, THANKS FOR WASTING MY TIME, LOSER.
#15: Hi John. I would rate you something decent, but I am paralysed with not caring very much. Plus, you were an arse to your gay girlfriend and your gay girlfriend's gay girlfriend, and now you're an arse to your sister's gay boyfriend, so, you know... piss off. NICHT MEIN FALL.
#1: Veela Boy With Unattractively Hairy Arms: Nope. You still leave me utterly cold. You could be at -25% and I would not be stirred by pity. NICHT MEIN FALL.